How to Increase Sexual Sensitivity and Become More Orgasmic
If you want to become more orgasmic and experience more sexual pleasure, the solution does NOT come from more stimulation. In fact - it’s the opposite.
If you want to become more orgasmic, focus on becoming more sensitive.
Sensitivity is not something you either do or don’t have - it’s an ability that you can cultivate. Which means that YES - you can cultivate the ability to be more orgasmic and to feel more pleasure in your body.
The catch is that in order to experience more bliss & pleasure, we have to be willing to feel more pain as well. If we consistently strive for bliss but avoid pain, the extent of bliss we can experience becomes more and more limited. In avoiding pain, we are effectively diminishing our own sensitivity by suppressing & bypassing our depth of feeling.
Understanding Sexual Sensitivity
Everything is in balance - and thus the depths of pain you enter are proportionate to the bliss you experience.
This is an important starting point in understanding sensitivity, because the journey to becoming more sensitive is uncomfortable. You must feel what you haven’t wanted to feel. And there are countless patterns that we’ve all unconsciously developed from a young age that allow us to avoid feeling deep pain.
Therefore, becoming more sensitive includes becoming aware of these unconscious patterns. It also includes becoming aware of & actually FEELING the pain underneath.
While this article does not provide comprehensive direction for navigating pain, trauma, sexual dysfunction & the deeper healing sometimes required to awaken to greater pleasure, I will provide you with very simple & effective ways to become more sensitive in your everyday life.
This sensitivity & increased presence will translate to the bedroom & the sexual pleasure you experience. (Hint: All of these suggestions serve to increase your AWARENESS - of your body, sexual problems, emotions, thoughts, sensations, etc.)
1. Slow EVERYTHING Down
Consciously slow your life down - and your sex - so that you are forced to notice & feel the subtleties. Often we tend to speed up when we are uncomfortable or stressed in some way. As a result, it’s common to feel resistant to slowing down because it forces us to feel many of the uncomfortable things we try to avoid feeling. So in slowing down, also challenge yourself to “sit in the fire” of uncomfortable emotions that arise.
Cultivate awareness of your body on a regular basis through practices like yoga, dance, self-touch & exercise. These activities can improve blood flow and enhance sensitivity.
2. Acknowledge Your Emotions
There is so much spiritual bypassing that occurs as a result of people’s desire to live in joy & bliss. But the reality is that if you are not acknowledging & engaging with your full spectrum of emotions, you are simply bypassing them.
There is no stage of enlightenment or awakening at which we stop experiencing certain emotions - and actually the path of awakening is accelerated by embracing all that exists within you. To become more sensitive, you must acknowledge & feel what’s actually there. Unacknowledged emotions can lead to low sexual desire, as emotional states significantly impact sexual health and sexual functioning.
3. Practice Expressing Yourself in Unfiltered Ways
This means entering into realms of taboo expression like rage, shame, disgust, & self-pity. In doing this, you’ll be giving yourself permission to feel more. You can do this specifically by asking others permission to outrightly project onto them, or by expressing yourself just in your own company.
Expressing emotions in this way can also enhance sexual stimulation, leading to better outcomes in intimacy. (The first option of expressing yourself to others is often more challenging - yet can also be more valuable).
4. Conscious Breathing for Sexual Health
Bring your awareness to your breath, particularly by noticing when it stops or becomes shallow. This will help you become more present and thus tuned-in to your experience. Notice how your breathing changes as you experience different emotions - and how you can choose to “breathe into” an emotion, thus experiencing it more deeply rather than running from it.
5. Remove Excess Sexual Stimulation
This means cutting out the things that you normally engage with for a quick hit of dopamine when you’re bored, anxious, depressed, etc. For me - this includes limiting time on my cell phone & social media, as well as avoiding porn/fantasy during masturbation. Eliminating porn can often have a huge positive impact on erectile dysfunction for men.
Unless used with a LOT of conscious awareness, these things are causing most of us to become much LESS present with ourselves & our environment. Excess stimulation can also lead to decreased sensitivity, making it harder to enjoy sex and reach orgasm over time.
6. Body De-Armouring
This is the process of massaging points in the body that hold tension. In combination with deep breathing & sounding (making sounds on each exhale), you can release stored emotions & open the flow of orgasmic energy in your system.
It’s the same principle as self-yoni massage where we de-armour the vagina to heal trauma, release emotions, and awaken more pleasure. Body de-armouring can also help increase penis sensitivity for men, enhancing sexual pleasure and overall health. Learn more about self-yoni massage in my course here.
7. Subtle Awareness of Sensations
See how much you can feel by doing very little. Practice bringing your awareness to your sensations so acutely, that you develop an energetic awareness of what’s happening in your body without even needing to physically move or touch yourself.
8. Prioritize Relaxation to Enhance Sexual Desire
When your body & mind are hyper-focused and hardened due to stress, they will become less sensitive to sexual activity. The more time you take to relax, feel, & process emotions, the more open your body will become to pleasure & orgasmic energy. Relaxation is crucial for achieving sexual satisfaction, as it allows your body to be more receptive to intimate experiences.
9. Self-Honouring & Boundaries
When you are in touch with your own needs & able to honour them with strong boundaries, you develop self-trust and thus the ability to feel safe & at ease in your own body. The more safe & at ease you feel, especially as a woman, the more your body can relax & open into deep, surrendered pleasure.
10. Be more discerning
Lastly, it’s important to note that with increased sensitivity, you’ll need to become more discerning. Your increased sensitivity means you’ll feel the effects of interacting with others (sexually or otherwise) more strongly. Your increased sensitivity will lead to deeper intimacy, but it will also mean that it’s no longer easy to bypass the things you previously tolerated. Being discerning can help avoid situations that may lead to sexual dysfunction.
My experience is that in becoming more sensitive, I’ve needed to become more discerning about who I sexually engage with in order to honour that sensitivity. Sometimes part of this is asking about a sexual partners view on sex and potentially their sexual history. The good news is that by developing your own sensitivity, you’ll develop the capacity to guide others to meet you more deeply, and you’ll begin to attract lovers who match your sensitivity.
To learn more about awakening your sexual pleasure & expanding your orgasmic capacity, explore our online courses here.